Happend last night when my friends once again tried to talk me into smoking and it was this night where I have had enough. First they tell me, "Ano ba Howie? Ang bading mo naman, di ka mamatay niyan." Yeah right! Millions of people die each year because of smoking and not to mention the deaths of secondhand smokers. That was one of the most supid lines of all time. Smoking kills dude! Wake up!

Then, I resisted their offer once again, and they took insulting to the next level. The bastards have gotten into my nerves! So, I just ignored them and they were smoking right in front of me, making sure they target their exhale smoke directly into my face. That was practically one of the most annoying nights I have ever had. It's peer pressure over and over again and I thought that I'd never hear that word again. But unlike my previous years, this time, the topic has gone too far. I am never going to succumb to this vice. It's killed some of my relatives and I don't want to be the victim of the same killer.

All I could think about the next morning (or i could say ahile ago) was ditching them and find a new group. They texted me earlier about hanging out with them again but I didn't bother to reply. No use staying with people without values; it's like hanging out with Satan himself. Haaaaay, ditching them would make me.... barkada-less.

I told the story to my roomies and what they told me made a lot of sense. My roomates think that these people were wannabe's and were the ones who were loosers back in high school. Well, they do have a point...the guys aren't the coolest poeple here in school.

Well, i was a loser myself as well for thinking that stayng in a big group would make you cool. I realized that I had great friends who are always there for me; friends more than I can deserve in this God forsaken campus. They may not be as popular as the rest but the only thing that matters in friendship is hanging out with people you have fun with and those who make you a better person; and that would make you cool. I don't care what the crowd would say or think about me; like my cousin said, the only opinion that matters is your own.

I will never smoke. I'm tired of seeing people cough and gasp after every puff; I'm sick of smelling people who have the same odor as a truck's exhaust pipe and I get soo fucked with people who are dying of lung cancer and then regret smoking at the last minute. So many lives have been lost trying to stop us from smoking, isn't it high time we honor their shameful deaths?

Hehe, I sound like a preacher again, and i still have math midterms tomorrow; another "F" I suppose. I haven't seen Kim Yu in a week, and she's one of the few people who can make me happy just by showing their faces. My forehead scars have already healed (THANK GOD!) and now it looks like the accident happend only in a dream.

Thank you for smoking guys! It was with your smoggy breath that I was able to clearly see who my real friends are. Congratulations on dying the same way your uncles did. No offense to all who reads this entry but I am really against smoking.

hahay... I miss Davao City, Mayor Duterte and their no smoking laws.

Holy Shit! The night started out right. It was my roomate's b-day celebration and we were all eating in Brazil Brazil. Food was great and filling. There were 8 of us: me, Gerro (b-day celebrant), Rachel, Alexa, Bianca, KP, Anton and Mutya. I was the only freshman as usual but nevertheless, it was so much fun. After dinner, Mutya mentioned about her project regarding unique snap shots. Luckily, there was a bull riding contest right outside the restaurant. It was a toy bull ofcourse, you know, the one's you see on T.V.. Anyway, I volunteered to ride it and managed to stay on the bull for 21 seconds on my 1st try and 41 on my second. There was a woman in the audience saying that I didn't know how to ride. Well, it was her turn ti ride but she only lasted 3 seconds. What a bitch!

Mutya grabbed some nice shots...of me falling. They were cool, I mean I was in protective gear and all. Then before leaving metrowalk, I bought some soda water. I just wanted to try it; it was like Sprite with a water flavor. Made you more thirsty though.... lolz.

SO, here's the climactic part. We were heading home on two taxis on convoy. I, Mutya, Rachel and Alexa were on the first and the rest were a few miles behund us. Nearing Ateneo, I told the driver to turn right to the gate and he replied, "Sa kanan ho sir?" It really pisses me of when you request the person something and he answers you with a rephrased question of the request. It's like saying, "Paki kuha ng ballpen." then the person answers, "Kunin ko ballpen sir?" Aaaaarggghhhh!!!!

Because of the few second delay, the driver forgot to switch on his signal lights and as he turned right I heard a strong screaching sound followed by a loud bump. Everything happend soooo fast. I thought the screech came from a car braking on the opposite lane. But BOOOOM!!! It took us a few secinds for the crash to register in our minds. It took me about 5 then I realized, Hey, we got hit!" Then pain started kicking in on my forehead and hands and as I checked my mirror, my forehead was bloody red. I was covered with shards of glass and I couldn't make any sudden moves.

One of the girls at the back said, "Oh my God, we got hit." Then, after a few minutes, the three started crying. The taxi driver was saying "testigo kayo sa mga nangyari ha." WTF??? Couldn't he even ask if we were okay???? And he wasn't hurt. Oh well...

The driver of the incoming car was a fellow batchmate in the Ateneo. He quickly apologized and offered to bring us to the hospital. Whoa whoa whoa dude, you're going to the police first. And he did! But it wasn't his fault. His only mistake was driving fast. Which is still wrong... hehee

The second cab arrived and boy were they shocked. They helped me out of the passengers seat and I was shaking off glass. Soon, dormers came andthe commotion was hella growing. The ambulance came and took the 3 grils and I waited for my mom to fetch me. My soda water bottle broke and I was getting paranoid with glass.

I reached the Cardinal Santos hospital an hour later and fortunately I had no shards stuck or plumeted deep into my skin. Boy, was I lucky! I prayed for quite a while then visted the rest in medical city. Mutya suffered a fractured soldier and the others got some impact pain but nothing serious thank God.

I can't believe how incredibly blessed I was to leave the E.R. without them plucking out glas from my head and arms. Whew, but the tiny wounds do hurt like hell! The moment I lied down in bed, I started replaying and imagining all that happend. I was recalling it in slow motion adding matrix sequences as the glass shards flew and cut bits of my forehead. Blood flowing in droplets into mid-air. It was soooo cool! Then, I realized that the only reason for my being this way is because I survived. I LOVE YOU GOD!!!

My Chinese name is Hwang Fu An/ Ung Hok An. Meaning "Lucky" and "Safe". Holy Shit! Fung Shiu ROCKS!!!

January 15, 2006... Somehow, I'm still alive...

Well, here I am again writing the same new shit. Didn't feel like entering math class today so I guess updating this blog is not fully a waste of time. Okay, I admit it, it's not the first time I cut math class. It's a daily class but I enter it 2 to 3 times a week. It's probably because I miss my old math class since this semester's math grouped me with my course block. I mean, it's not that I hate my block, it's just that I hate most of them. Hahaha. It's not a good mix of people. There are pretentious people; and lots of them and God gave me a gift to distinguish truly rich people and people who pretend to be rich. Money is what matters in this school. If you have it: "Welcome to The Ateneo! And if you don't; haaaayy... I can't imagine. Oh boy, I wish PISAY never ended.

Me and my friends hope to change the way people think here but we're just a small can of Lysol in a sea of excrement. One day they will all learn, I just pray it won't be at the expense of the countrie's economy.

Well if this isn't the real world, then what is it? I am now well aware that PISAY is a castle far away from civilization. The school wasn't a practice for us to survive the real world...it was to hide us from it. Or maybe I'm wrong, and the school I'm in right now is The Matrix. I don't know, as of now, which is which.

Anyway, it's my roomate Gerro's birthday today! Happy 19th Birthday bitch! Hahaha!!! Juuuust Kidding. Wow, my b-day's in 2 months puhon, I just wish I would be back in Davao by then.

I was thinking of shifting to AB COMM but I doubt my parents would let me into that course. BS MAC is crap but they believe I'd have a future with that Diploma. However, I don't trust their faith. I want to be a director, and I can't be one unless I leave this fucked-up course. Plus, after researching about the BS MAC alumni, I found out that most of them are bankers. BANKERS!? I will not spend the rest of my life in a crappy chair checking all of people's account balances. Only some of them end up as chemists because my course is half-business management and half-chemistry. Companies want the 100% chemistry. So its either you add more chemistry units or have to be really really good. My Say? FUCK THAT SHIT! Chemistry sucks, peroid!

Well I guess my blog and God might be the the only ones that can listen to my problems. It's almost my P.E. class so I have to leave.

Sayonara! gg guys.

Hi, this is Howie reporting live from the CERVINI dormitory!

It has been 5 fucking months since I've reported anything new in my blog. Sorry for the delays and stuff like that cuz I've never really been in the mood to write about college here in The Ateneo, as conyo people would call it. So what's new and what's old? I'll answer the what's old question first: Still 17 with no girlfriend, absolutely no love life and 100% virgin. Yeah… that's about it. What’s new? Oh boy, this is gonna take a while...

My course is the worst course anyone could have: BS-MAC; Management with Applied Chemistry. Man... why the fuck did choose this? God, I swear! Both Math and Chemistry is killing me! And not to mention the putang-inang Filipino classes I have to endure. Sir Sultan! Mam Egasan! Mam Tavera! Where art thou???

Haven't seen anyone in a while now. Haaaay… I miss you guys. Well, moving on, I have some hefty new friends here. I'll painstakingly enumerate them one by one.

To start, there's Monica A. Tiosejo, my girl na best friend. She's chinky, a little chubby, just a little, and she's quite down to earth. Very rare considering she's from ICA.

Then, there's my roomies. There's Andre, who's a chubby guy from Cebu. He's kinda feminine but he's 100% guy. He's funny and really nice to friends, plus he's neat. My corner is horse shit compared to his. Next is my other roommate named Gerro who's as nice as Andre is but more fun to be with. Nothing personal to the latter but we kind of have a lot of stuff in common. We both love gore, movies, naked women, video games and more gore!!!!! He's the guy I go out with most often so I guess I can call him my best friend. My other roomy is quiet and only talks when he needs something, so I cross him out. HAHAHA

Then there's my homeless barkada who's provinces stretch out far far away from Butuan to Saudi Arabia. The Arab's Catholic by the way; but who the hell cares!? The names are Mikko from here, Marvin from Butuan, Ton-Ton from Bohol, Diwa (a quasimodo look alike loser!) from here, Vic (stupid ignorant lowlife) from Las Pinas and Aljo the Arab.

There's the new girl I stalk every Tuesday and Thursday during Jazz Class: Her name's Kim Yu, a really really cute Chinese girl who looks as though she just graduated from elementary. Kim Yu... One day I'll profess my love to you! My Angel... Shame, she doesn't know my name though and the only phrase I spoke to her was "Pahiram ng ballpen?". Pathetic as always, but she keeps me happy in this God forsaken campus.

The people here are jerks. They're not down to earth and hate the poor. Just like a guy named Arold. He's feminine and has long limbs. Even he's head is long for all I care. Screw him, I wish he goes bankrupt and experiences how it is to be desperate. You selfish son of parents who didn't raise you well! Your day will come boy!!! And when that day comes, I will laugh. LAUGH!!! GOD DAMN YOU!!!

Next in my "enumeration" of friends and bastards is RV. He's a bastard, but a good friend of mine. Though Illumina people don't approve of his weirdness, he's my kind of guy; tactless, Porno-king and violent.

Well, I guess I'll stop here. Consider this my introduction to the new characters in my story. Nevertheless, Illumina will always be the best chapter of my life.

To be continued y'all...

R-18!? It was today when Consoliza Laguardia, chief of MTRCB declared The Da Vinci Code an adults only film. She said that the thematic elements in the film destroy Christ's reputation of being 'Divine' and would shake the faith of minors. Well, screw you bitch! I am insulted that you think so low of us... so weakly of us to be shaken off so easily. Maybe it was your faith that was altered.

Damn, just when I thought people in that damn office would be educated enough to decide, things turned out wrong again!!! Then this ignorant dude named Edmund Sicam said, "Only mature audience can determine what is fact from fiction." Look dude, people who watch these kinds of movies go to school and know the difference between these two. 13 year olds are not elementary. I think what you said was just a bunch of bullcrap. It's people like you who look down on the intellect of our present youth.

The Philippine Alliance Against Pornography stated it was "...the most pornographic and blasphemous movie ever made." and Executive Secretary Eduardo Ermita pleaded that the film be banned. The funny thing is, Mr. Ermita did not even see the film nor read the book so he has no right to ban the film. Jeez...what a fag! And the PAAP lacks more viewing experience because there are more rubbish being sold on the streets made by Anti-Christs and Perverts . So you have no right to claim that it is the most blasphemous and pornographic film. Such assholes...

The point here is that even though Jesus and Mary Magdalene did have a relationship, it "wont shake the faith". I mean, so what? Jesus was born as a human being, and so he has human insticnts. I didn't convert or turn into an athiest after reading the book. What about Muslims and other religions? They don't believe in Christ so why should they be suffering from that R-18 rating huh? SHEESH. Also, even if you ban the movie, the book is still freely sold so it's just another example of your stupidity.

Lastly, Da Vinci is PG-13 in the U.S. so this is just another fine portrait of our gov't belittling our youth. U.S. accepts that as young as people are, they can tell fact from fiction. But ofcourse, MTRCB doesnt think the Filipino youth is educated. They think that we're still on the low level, the dumb level where time travels back when we were still called Indiyos!

Get real!? We're even smarter than you so don't you think you owe us an apology MTRCB? You belittled how we think and demoralized our hopes that we can do a better job than you bafoons do!!!!!

It always comes down to this. Wherein I am vindicated by my own decisions, corrected by present events and laid down to reflect that whatever i said that won't change...would change. No one can really be ever set on one thing. We are always prone to change; in our thoughts, in our acts and promises. When I really come think and use the mind which is not driven by emotion, I realize that everything I said in the past never really stayed with me. I only meant those things during that period of time...but after time does it's routine, none of them ever lasts.

I used to say 'I will NEVER forgive her', or 'I will ALWAYS hate her'...but as usual, I covet my own beliefs and eat my words. I regret settling our conflict before graduation because the last time I ever saw her was with anger in my eyes. But now, things have change. I forgave her, and I don't hate her. Our present ties promote friendship, no longer the battle I used to fight.

But now, it'll stop through philial love and that is as friends. I'll be thinking of her as a friend, no more and no less. I have moved on and will not go back to the place where I used to step foot. Right now I am writing things against what I used to stand for, and I wish one more thing: That I would see her again as to have a new memory of her painted in my life. No longer the enemy I cursed and almost destroyed, but the Angel I once loved and the Princess she had always been.